i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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