Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
