I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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