Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
