Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize