Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
