thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
