I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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