STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
