i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just high enough for therapy.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
