she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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