a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize