i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
