oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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