wat bout pragnant strippers??
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
