i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
