Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
