she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize