worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
