this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize