Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
