...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
