if only i could text you this smell
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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