So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
