how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize