Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
