I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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