Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
