At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
