i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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