is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
