i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
