yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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