the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
