And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
