Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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