Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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