i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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