After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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