____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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