Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize