You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
