He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
