i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
