babies were throwing up all over the place
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
