As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
