Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
