census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How naked do you want me to be?
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