I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
