you have to choose: penises or morals?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
