someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize