I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize