A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
