so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am one with the molecules
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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